No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

Well faithful readers, with the FTC cracking down on disclosures in blogs, I feel compelled to let you all know that I have officially become a girlfriend. Putting this status on Facebook - which makes it official - has caused a bit of...buzz among some of my friends. Even those who knew about the gentleman I've been seeing. You see, I normally consider "girlfriend" a four-letter word. Past men in my life have rushed to slap that label on as a type of leash - to mark their territory. As such, I inevitably felt choked and claustrophobic as us Wild Things tend to feel. Thus my most successful relationships have been label-less. When the idea of a label was first brought up, I instantly had the "oh crap" knee-jerk reaction. Around this time I happened to catch one of my all time favorite movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'd forgotten about my favorite line that explains it perfectly:

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

I realized that for all my introspection and soul-searching, I was allowing my baggage to prevent me from participating in something good and pure and real. So I had a choice, I could (A) allow my failures and neurosis of the past taint something wonderful or (B) I could swallow my pride, face my fears and live my {love} life.

So I had an intense conversation with myself {yes...with myself...} and ruminated on something that someone very wise said:

"The road of life is littered with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. Don't be THAT squirrel."

I choose B.

All You Need is Love

On this Gobble Wobble, I'm thankful for the mad ones who provide me with constant encouragement, criticism, honesty and most importantly: inspiration. I'm so in love with life and am eternally grateful for the marvelous professional, personal and romantic opportunities I've had lately. And I don't ever want to take any of this for granted.

At the end of the day, all we need is love.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’" - Jack Kerouac

Thought Of the Day: Chasing Squirrels

Ever notice how when you finally get something that you really reaaally want, you're not quite sure what to do with it?

Reminds me of when I chew on ice cubes and my dog starts freaking out:

"Give me that.

I don't know what that is but I want it.

Look at me wag my tail, I'm SO CUTE now GIVE THAT UNKNOWN OBJECT TO ME...

....what the hell is this?!

It's not water...but it is.

But it's solid.

Holy crap....I'm confused.

What do I DO WITH THIS NONESENSE?!?!?!?!?

Look...a squirrel!"

Now take that and relate it to your love life. Spot on, right?

Song O' The Day

In honor of my move:

Thought of the Day

Someone (who has experience in this arena) said to me:

"You're great at relationships - just not so much the commitment."

Does this make sense to you? How are you with commitment? Any advice for commitment-phobes?

Update

Hi Kiddles,

I just wanted to let you all know that the next few weeks will be sparse with content. I have accepted a job offer at a firm in NYC and need to spend the next few weeks adjusting to life in the Big Apple. So the bad news is that I won't be able to post as much as I'd like but the good news is that I have some wonderful guest posters lined up AND I will hopefully have some new and crazy material to blog about soon.

xo
Meg

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Ask Izzy: Are we all masochists?

Masochism: pleasure in being abused or dominated; a taste for suffering.

Pleasure. Taste. Suffering.

Taste. Suffering. Pleasure.

Poetic isn’t it? I am a masochist. No, not in the “tie-me-up-and-beat-me-with-whips” type of way. But in the “I-want-what-I-can’t-have-cuz-in-the-end-it-will-taste-sweeter” type of way. How can we know what pleasure feels like without a taste of suffering? As I look over the ghosts (men) of my past and present, I notice a certain trend. I drive and feed off of the challenge. After all, who wants what is handed to them on a silver platter? Not me.

In high school, there was Bob. Bob was four years older, very good looking, mysterious, sexy and also my brother’s friend a.k.a off limits. He was my first conquest. It didn't occur to me then that I was barely a teenager. I didn't care if I was too young. I wanted the satisfaction of saying, I “got” him. After charming him with my "Izzy magic", over the course of many months, I finally got my taste and my god was it filled with pleasure. So what happened to me and Bob? Well, I moved on of course. No challenge + no suffering = attraction over. This story ends with me on a hot pursuit for my next victim and unfortunately for Bob, my brother's fist finding his beautiful face. Oops.

In college, I found myself wanting the guys, that wouldn’t give me the time of day. At least not at first. When I met my ex, he was in a relationship for over 3 years. Yes ladies and gents, you can classify me as a home wrecker. But don't feel too bad, this home was more like an abandoned crack house. In fact I think I did it a favor by flattening it like a pancake with my um... wits. Don't get me wrong, I played nice and we were never physical until he was single. But rest assure I did pursue him like a predator hunts its prey. I liked the challenge and loved that I was the apple, in his Garden of Eden: deliciously forbidden.

In its truest form, I am undoubtedly a masochist. I allow myself to suffer because it's what I want, what I need. Maybe someday I won't need to dangle my forbidden apple in front of the unattainable to get my masochistic need fed. One day Mr. Right will take a bite when I least expect it, and the insatiable need to suffer and run will disappear; heck he might make me the kind of masochist that gives the silk ties a try.

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Ask Izzy is a bi-weekly column written by a twenty-something New Yorker (Izzy) whose progressive side often collides with her eternally optimistic romantic side. Feel free to join the conversation and send any questions/concerns/topics you'd like her to address: ask.izzy123@gmail.com

Song O' The Day

I've had this song stuck in my head for days! It's so sweet and simple.

Iyaz "Replay"

Best Dating Advice

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"Cute's good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it's, Who are you as a person? That's the advice I would give to women: Don't look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn't know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you're dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you're in that relationship and you're dating, then my advice is, don't get married."

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For more great advice from former first ladies, head over to Your Tango. My second favorite is from Mrs. Betty Ford:

"You go into it, both of you, as a seventy-thirty proposition. In other words, here I'm giving seventy, he can give thirty, he's giving seventy, I give thirty. When you're going overboard trying to please each other, you can't help but be happy."

Cait's Corner: The Opposite of Love

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Here lies the newest edition to Caitlin's monthly book reviews. This month she reviews "The Opposite of Love" by Julie Buxbaum. Caitlin is an avid runner, sugar addict and book nerd. Her reviews can be seen here at the beginning of every month. Enjoy!

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The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Or so they say. But why? We each likely have our own opinion on this topic and in Julie Buxbaum’s first novel “The Opposite of Love”, she explores it in an interesting way. As aforementioned in my first review, I can be snobby about books. When I found this novel, I was browsing the bookstore with no intention of actually purchasing anything. This was found on the bargain table, which is where books go to die as far as I’m concerned. But when I sat down with this book- along with a pile of other books and magazines- I couldn’t stop reading it. The main character, Emily, is someone I could see myself being friends with- imperfect but endearing. Hell, she’s someone I AM at times. So I bought the book at the bargain price of $5.98 and proceeded to inhale it as only a true booklover can.

The novel begins with Emily breaking up with her boyfriend, Andrew. She rationalizes that he wants to get married and she just isn’t ready. I respect this and her view on settling down in our society, “We are acting under a collective cultural delusion, the one that demands random connection after the quarter-life mark, a handcuffing to whoever lands by your side during a particular game of musical chairs.” But while she seems self-assured and progressive at first, we find that Emily has no real idea of who she is. She has a wall of defense mechanisms surrounding her, something most of us know a thing or two about. She has plenty of reasons for them- her mother died when she was young, and her relationship with her father is almost completely devoid of emotion. But while her life has not been entirely easy, it is no reason to shut yourself off to feeling any part of life. Emily’s insightful therapist sums this up nicely, “...over time, normal defense mechanisms can hold us back from living our lives.” I feel like if more of us could realize this and change, we could do some amazing things. I suppose it’s a case of easier said than done.

As Emily grows and opens up to life, she can’t seem to get Andrew out of her head and tries to get in touch with him multiple times. But while many books in this genre- and let’s face it, they are a dime a dozen- resolve with the main character realizing she needs no one but herself, this one is a bit different. The twist here is that Emily learns how to let people in, how to hold onto relationships in spite of her defense mechanisms. She had been feeling indifference toward her own life for so long, she had to actually relearn how to feel. I think we’ve all shut doors on certain parts of our life deemed too difficult to deal with from time to time, and would benefit from opening them back up and peeking in. Love and hate cannot be opposites because they are both feelings and therefore have many similarities. Indifference is the lack of feeling; it is boring, bland, and empty. Love and hate may be messy or scary, but they are full of passion. And isn’t passion what makes life worth living?

This novel is not quite life changing and certainly not on my top ten list of favorite books. It is, however, an entertaining read that pleasantly surprised me. It is better written than many of its kind and it reads quickly. The message to open yourself to life comes out clearly without being too preachy. Emily becomes a friend, a girl you want to attempt to fix, if only you didn’t have the same fears and issues she battles. If this book does nothing more than remind you to live and love fully, it’s done its job. Passion should not be underrated.